FREE

I dream of more freedom. Freedom of movements. I dream of destroying all my obstacles. I do not only mean some artificial barriers my feet cannot overcome. I also mean my fears. My fear of seeming silly. Worse than I want to seem. Unable. Good for nothing. I know it all sounds silly. Too childish. That is not easy to say "I don't know this" or "I cannot do that". It's so hard to say "not"...And it's a real problem to say good bye to some of my fears. I dream of getting rid of many of them. I dream of cleaning my blonde head from that rubbish that makes my life complicated. What makes my world rainy.

Today I sort of looked into my fear's eyes...I almost punched it...I say almost because I did not really do that. Just closed tightly my own eyes. Just covered my ears. Just ignored it. And...I believe I'm on my way to lose my bad enemy...my fear. My fear of being myself. The way I am. Accepting me as I am. To hide my neat Daria version and show my real one. The one who's weak and strong. Who can also fall and fail. ;) Who does not always smile. Whose eyes shine with tears sometimes too.

I'm grateful for my moment of being me. Just me. And I hope one day I will just scare all my fears away...:D Too far away....somewhere I can never find them again....:)

P.S. I am sorry for my confusing lines. I just can't really describe what I really feel or experience. It's another chapter of a complicated book called "Daria"...:)

              Holding Summer by Hand...

I'm grateful for my little miracles today. I had some nice dreams. I saw myself travelling by train.  So, my waking up was nice. :)

And...later this day I did travel by train virtually a bit thanks to my adventurous friend who made it possible. Sure, it's not the same fun as  a real train trip but I did have my portion of joy. 

I'm grateful for hearing my dad who sounded cheerful today. I'm even grateful for his football match on TV tonight. That means he is my dad...who loves football, this game I see no sense in...;)

I'm grateful for this wonderful summer I can see and touch around. I'm grateful for being able to go outside without any assistance and putting on tons of heavy clothes. :)
I'm grateful for  a nice evening with my mom, for laughing together. For this evening we spent with our favourite movie. 

I sometimes want more than I have. But I try to be grateful for what I already have. And I have a lot. I have my reasons to smile about. I have what makes me wake up every day. I have my dreams. I have my hopes. Maybe some of them are silly. But...it's just a big puzzle that is called "happiness"...

Joy Through Tears

Today my greatest reason for being grateful is that my dad did survive his surgery. It's too early to say if he did it successfully but at least he's awake, called me and tried to joke...I know he's in much pain, I could feel it from his voice. 
I'm grateful for this morning call. For my dad being alive. There are many challenging moments we'll have to overcome. But we will do it. I'll do my best.

I'm also grateful for my students who took my sad reflections away. Like the sunrays...

I'm grateful for being virtually in  a wonderful forest. I was kindly invited there by my good friend who just clicked on "call" and made see that miracles of birds singing...

I'm grateful for my tears of joy. I'm grateful for my prayers to be answered. I'm grateful to be heard.

Skype Teaching, the Ocean of Flowers, Lost in Translation, Greenland...

Today the sky was crying all day long. It was still romantic to be woken up with the melody of the raindrops. 

I'm grateful for my new student. And I'm grateful for using skype as our classroom! What I am impressed by is my dear student who seems to know more than I could ever expect. She and I have our dreams. So, we had the loveliest rainy lesson ever. :)

I'm grateful for my dear friend whom I don't know at all but who keeps on planting a real beautifil garden of flowers on my facebook page! :) I hope he'll read this message and will smile now. ;-) The way I always do when I open my page and see a real ocean of beauty...I'm now spoiled! :D 

I'm grateful for my patient friend who gave me some useful translation tips! I'm endlessly grateful for his great talent to wait for me...And for his kindness that warms my heart very deeply.

I'm grateful for some fresh carrots I ate today. I mean they were straight from our garden.

I'm grateful for my good friend who again made my evening extra special by showing some of his native land. I don't know how he did it but for some minutes I did escape from my sad thoughts. 

My dad's going to undergo a surgery tomorrow. If you can, keep him in your prayers, please! I really hope he'll face it bravely. 

Today I am grateful for having everyone in my life. Even people who drive me crazy. Eventually they teach me a lot and give me more than I could imagine. I'm grateful for my sadness because it will make my joy even bigger one day. 

Lviv in My Hands, Rainbow and Thermometer Joy! ;)

This Tuesday would be just boring...but nope! ;) This time Tuesday decided to use some makeup. ;) I mean it figurately. ;) My Tuesday was bright. Even though it was rainy. Heaven was crying again...and then again smiling through its tears rolling down along its cheeks...

I'm grateful for my good friend who was travelling to the place I'm in love with - Lviv....I was surprised to receive  a postcard from him today. That was like I could touch / grasp Lviv again...breathed in chocolate and coffee air...I even felt like I was there...back...my warm memories of travelling to this wonderful place is still warming my heart!

I'm grateful for my dear guide who spent much effort and time to show me some things around his home place. It was  a virtual trip, sometimes the connection failed and it seemed like it was over...BUT NO...My friend was determined enough to overcome all those little issues and make me see what I could never see in my rainy room today. ;) And the greatest miracle is...I even saw a big rainbow there...on his side!!! I was speechless. Didn't know what I could say. I was just happy. When you're happy, you're lost for words or can say something silly. :P So, I was just enjoying my happy trip around. :)

And...I'm also grateful for my dear friend who visited me this evening and brought me his self-made device - a thermometer! Now I can always tell you how "hot" it is at my place of the world...:D Right now it is just 20C! I'm touched to have such  a special gift.:) Hand-made gifts are always the best. They somehow carry a piece of someone who made them. :)

I'm grateful for everything. For my talk with my dad on the phone. He's now on his way to the hospital. I hope he'll be well again soon. I hope his recovery will be my next reason for joy...

I'm grateful for listening to the raindrops today. It's a real symphony of Heavens...

Dressed to Teeth, Breathtaking Paintings, Walking on Air or a Grey Beard Joy...

I bet the title of my joy made you all wonder. Probably confused. Or maybe you can sadly confess to yourselves "Poor Daria...what has her blog brought her to"....:D 

Allright, let me clear things out for you. Let me open the curtains of my mysterious joys...

First I'm really grateful for my dentist! She's a lovely person who made me forget about any fears! Although I can't say my visit was free of pains, I still felt delighted. It was like coming back home. I was surprised to see a new face of the clinic and a new hairstyle of my dentist! And what I feel blessed for is that my teeth will keep on cracking nuts in the near future! ;) That's what I'm happy about!!! ;)

Secondly, I'm grateful for a black-haired, big-hearted and truly gifted miracle I met today. I visited my friend on my way home from the clinic. She is my new friend. An amazing artist who is a real miracle to me. Her name is Marianna. She's a wonder girl. I don't want to go into details but her life is not easy for an ordinary citizen of our planet. She has some very severe physical challenges. I felt shy to think about my challenges...Well, I hate to compare but maybe for the first time ever I realised how much I can and how much I should cherish my pieces of freedom, like moving around my house, doing some every day activities without anyone's assistance. Marianna cannot do many things by herself. But perhaps she can do more than she can imagine. She can capture people's hearts forever. She can make you see what you never saw before. She can make you see her world that is amazingly beautiful, full of colours and sun.  Full of love. Her flat is like a real museum. I think I could even smell it. Her world of colours and shades. Her deep look opened my mind. I feel very blessed to know her. We were surprised to find how many things in common we have. Two hours I spent in her lovely company just flew in some moments...It was funny to meet her sweet little friend (a cute Guinea pig). I'm honoured to spend that time of my life with her. Someone I did not have to look up at. Someone who was just as tall as me. :P That was also something new to me. I'm sure this new friendship will be the start of something really new in my life. 

                       Marianna and me

Thirdly, I'm grateful for all my abilities. For everything I can do. For my fast moving around. For being independent in many aspects of my life. For the fact that I don't even realise how lucky I am...

And finally...I don't have any grey beard. :D Well, I shave regularly...:P Well, just kidding...(you may understand that's a tricky joy...haha). I'm grateful for our taxi driver. He's an old man, with a nice grey beard...But he was like a magician, joking, sharing his good mood with us. I love such people so much!

I'm also grateful for my dear good friend who despite some technical issues tried to brighten up my calm evening! :)

I'm grateful. And I am happy. And...I look forward to more joys!

                          Rainy Weekends

The sky was in tears. It was crying for someone maybe. Or maybe sky can also cry for happiness. There were moments in my life when I cried for happiness. It's different. It can never be described. It is when your happiness is so big it overflows from you, shining out from the rainbow of your tears...

My weekend was quiet. No students. No guests. Many moments of thoughts, some work. 
Maybe I could say it was absolutely boring but it was not thanks to my friends who keep me smiling! I'm grateful for people who despite being far away physically make my present happy. 

 I'm grateful for a rain-free Sunday morning, for enjoying a lovely path to the church. For feeling close to Heaven. For the birds dancing in the air. I'm grateful for my early wake up. I'm grateful for just being. For my being sad and happy. That's funny. But sometimes sadness and happiness are really mixed. Like starts behind the heavy clouds...