Tulips, First Sunbathing and Feeling Alive

Today my feelings a mixed. I feel filled with joy when I look at our first tulips, this endless blue sky, flying birds fighting for their nests and bees flying with their baskets of honey around. Today I have even enjoyed my first sunbathing session! ;) My cheeks are a bit red now. ;) The only thing that makes me feel bitter is this sad Chornobyl memory day...27th spring of our great national wound. It is really difficult to see this great contrast - this unspoken beauty and this deep pain...

I still have some reasons for joy even today. I'm grateful for my life - for staying alive so far. I'm grateful for my dear ones who are around, caring of me. I'm grateful for my friend who kept his word and sent me the link of some Chornobyl documentary. I am touched to feel not alone. I am happy people remember. I just hope this tragedy will keep on uniting us, making us stronger. 

It's my 27th spring. A bit different. I still miss my teacher who's gone forever. I can't fill this emptiness in my heart. But I will try to look for new joys. And if God lets me, I'll hopefully show people around some more reasons of staying cheerful and happy. 

                               Biking Joy 

Today I have finally practises my legs' muscles a bit! Well, I still have not bought any new bike yet but I enjoyed my old bike mate. ;) It was awesome to feel the air in my hair and the way my legs worked. The way the birds and bees were following me. 

Today I felt some miracles. I have thought of someone and this person appeared...right at that moment. Isn't it a real miracle? I am lost for any more adjectives to describe what I feel. I am happy this evening. My happiness is silent because it is like a bird, a little bird that can be scared away if I am too loud. ;) So, I'd better admire it silently...

I'm grateful for my old bike, for my freedom and for someone who made my being better. :) 

                                 Smelling

I have never thought that it is such happiness to be able to smell. To have such a cute nose. ;)

I realized that I suddenly live in a kingdom of the best perfumes! Spring perfumes! All those beautiful tulips and blooming trees made me feel a bit dizzy but at the same time full of some wonderful joy. I felt this day very special. It's my 27th spring. My new spring. My new hope. And I think I have somehow turned into something flower-like. :D I mean even my hair smells like spring now. 

I am grateful for my nose and for all those spring perfumes in the air. I'm grateful for my alarm-clock. Well, I am still the most hopeless sleepyhead but at least I am happy to look at it and think of someone who's already up, working or enjoying some breakfast. ;)

I love April. I am maybe in love with it. :) I'm grateful for this great chance to witness its beauty. 

                       Get on Moving

My today's post is tiny. I am truly exhausted. Feeling like I'm already sleeping...yawning and trying to keep my beautiful eyes open. :P

Well, I had my reasons for joy today.

First - I realized I could move my body the way I never expected I could. I did some simple exercises and who knows? Maybe I'll be a slim girl soon, huh? ;)

Second - I smelled the blooming cherries....Ah...so delicious and amazing they smell! Hopefully I'll enjoy some berries one day in June.

Third - I woke up with a smile on my face. It does not happen every day. ;) The reason for that? Hmmm....I'd better keep  it in some darkness for awhile. ;)

I'm grateful for my new series of joys...I hope tomorrow I'll have some new ones! ;)

Coming Joy or the Moon on Your Side

Today I had some more reasons to smile. There were some smiles on my face as well as in my heart. Sometimes you can't help but smile in your heart. And it feels so warm as if the sun is shining inside it, fighting against all the darkness and fears. Today was exactly that day.

I saw a photo of my dear friend who's going to be a happy mom soon, just in a couple of months. This photo of her, her happy eyes and her lively figure made me feel really happy. As if I were promised a real treasure. Well, weird as it may seem, but I look forward to seeing her little princess, her sweet baby girl! The joy of my friends who are now happy parents-to be makes my world really sunnier!  Their joy fills my batteries with more energy to go. To be happy myself. To keep on dreaming. To keep on counting down the days. :)

Today I did not go outside. It was so windy and plus I had enough things to do. But I somehow went out. Thanks to my dear friend who invited me into his world, his yard, his moon. It felt really wonderful to travel by staying on my chair. Well, sure, a real trip would be much better than starring at screen but since I have no other choice so far, that was really awesome!

I'm grateful for my new day. For my special joys. For my hopes. For my naive dreams. For my silly happiness. For people who somehow manage to stand my terrible character. I am happy. 

My week collection of joys!

Well, I did not really mean to turn into a snail blogger. I hope my posts will be like heartbeats. :)

The reason of my current blog pause was not the absence of joys. On the contrary. I needed some time to "digest" some thoughts, some joys, some ideas. 
One of my amazing joys is that spring is ruling despite some cold windy blowing kisses. :) Everything is blooming. I wish I had such a dress like our apricot tree. Oh, I am a perfect dreamer. ;)

I'm grateful for being able to see this spring, feel and smell its magic in the air. I'm grateful for some exciting events that are  hopefully coming my way. I am grateful for my busy days - hard-working students who make me smile and brush up my dusty knowledge shelves. :)
I'm grateful for a new online experience I enjoyed last week. It was great to see some of my online friends, smiling my way. It was almost real. :)
I'm grateful for this beautiful April!

I am grateful to some of my dear friends who sent me some lovely presents! ;) It really makes me feel as if they visited me this way. ;)
I'm grateful for living today and now. For my aunt who visited us this weekend. For sharing our thoughts and sorrows with each other. For the first flowers. For my first "green" breakfasts. :)

For my very little language progress. 

I am grateful for a miracle of kindness. I was very happy to see how people responded to a help appeal of a sick girl they did not know. 

I am grateful for everything I have. For my window of freedom. For my friends who make me feel alive. For their love and care. For my love. For my moment of joys. :)

Rainy Sunday, Fighting With Myself and Travelling with my Voice

This Sunday started very rainy for me. I had no strength to lift my head from my sweet pillow. Besides, I did not feel as right as rain. :( Exactly the opposite - UNDER the weather. I did want to stay in warm embraces of my bed. I did want nothing but to look at the ceiling, imagining myself at the seaside or...meeting you. ;)

My students made it impossible for me to enjoy my 'doing nothing'. They brought me back from my day dreaming. I had to forget my feeling 'unwell'. I had to rescue them. To help them see any hope. ;) I mean a grammar one!

It was a real fight. I mean with myself - my body and my mind. I hate it when my body doesn't agree with my mind. That sucks. But I am happy it doesn't occur that often. ;) My mind is almost always a champion. (Haha...forgive me my terrible modesty, please!). ;)

The highlight of my day was a real voice travel. I had a funny talk to some of my friends from different sides of the globe. I loved it. Their voices made me feel better. They were my painkillers. ;) Voices heal. That's what I am completely sure about! :)
I'm grateful for my sofa I could put myself on today. For my friends who make my being sunny despite the rain. And for my students who come to me rain or shine. ;)

The Queen of My Kindgdom

I love to feel myself a queen of my house - my great kindgdom. :) What I mean is that I enjoy the moments when I am alone at home (not for a long time, of course!).

My Saturday was exactly like that. My mom was away. And I was a queen. Welcoming guests - my students. Offered them tea. Laughed. Felt myself sort of an owner of my day. ;)

I sometimes dream of one free day when I could go out all by myself. I wonder how it feels like. For most of you it is not a big deal, right? I mean to wake up, make your own cup of coffee, and go out...BY YOURSELF, not being accompanied by someone, even let it be someone dear to you. :)

I'm grateful for my piece of independence. For my life as it is. For my dreams. They are silly. But life concists of different dreams. What's more, silly dreams don't harm, huh? ;)

                    Sunny Surprise! 

We usually tend to measure everything by cold logic. We believe in what was proved, touched and tasted. We often believe the news on TV. We have no doubts about the fact that the water turns into ice when the temperature drops...Sometimes we even believe weather forecasts! :D

Today my mom was visiting my grandpa. She had to help him in the garden and around, so she really hoped it would be a rain-free day. But the weather forecast seemed to ruin all her plans...But there is always a room for some miracles (definition: miracles is what we can never explain but what we all look forward to seeing or feeling). This day was very sunny. I even closed my eyes for joy!!!! So, my mom could complete all her tasks. And everything happened just the way we wanted. I managed to do an extra fast task. It was just like the lightning. :) 

Today I have also felt myself "together" even when I am alone. I am actually never alone. I am always kept an eye on. ;) My guardian angel, my Father in Heaven...I have NO idea when I come back home but today I felt some real sunny rays of joy. I was typing and looking at the sky from time to time. And another thought striked my mind: "I am alive. I am here today. I have my job. I have people who ask me "how are you, girl?", I have people I think of very often and I can move miraculously fast around". Well, maybe there are many dreams in my head but even now I think I can call myself happy. I am grateful for what I have today. For my feelings. For my window that shows me a very beautiful view of the sky. :) 

P.S. I witnessed another miracle today: a little cucumber that was planted just some days ago with a tiny seed is now a thin but powerful little plant with two green leaves! I hope to upload the photo of it soon! :) 

I am Not helpless and I am not angry

I had my moments of happiness today. :) I suddenly noticed (again!) how many things I can actually do. I am maybe unlucky to be born in a country where I am destined to face so many limitations because of my special body. But I am lucky to handle things all by myself. Or almost. I am different. I mean my body is unusual. I might even shock you with my size, with my limbs, my fingers. But I can also surprise you. :)

I had a busy day, an early wake up. There were some reasons that might usually make me sad or even angry but I am not. ;) Let's say I am sad just because I am not as good as I must be and because there are people who are unhappy despite the fact that they have the things I WISH so much I ever had (for example, an ordinary pair of legs and arms). But again - I am happy. 

I am happy not because I have or do not have this or that body, but because I am, because there is someone I love, because happiness does not mean to have everything. But to enjoy this little tiny joy you have. ;) That's it. Nothing more is needed.

I'm again in the Web or Seeing You

Today I lost my main working Internet connection...and then I felt like standing in front of the closed door without any key! :) I'm delighted to see it back now...;) 
Today I saw one of my dear friends and that filled me with happiness. Just because of his being there. I have chosen to enjoy little joys. ;) That's it. No idea if there are any big joys ahead, so I'd better be happy about what I have. :)
I'm grateful for my students who brought me many smiles today. I'm grateful for my pillow my mom has made for me. It was so good to put my head on it today. 
Now time to enjoy my sweet dreams. ;)
I'm going to bed grateful. 

An Unexpected Hello and Poking my Nose into my Friend's Kitchen! ;)

Today I tried my very best to complete some of my daily tasks. But well, I should better start with my morning "joy". I slept like a log. I just refused to believe my eyes when I looked at my alarm-clock...It was almost the midday! :( I would win the first prize of sleepyheads if there were such a competition! 
So, I had to do things much faster than I usually do. That meant I had to enjoy some silent moments of my work. And then when I had my break time I surprisingly realised that someone said hello to me. That really brought a huge smile on my pale face. It feels so sweet to see someone caring about my existence. 

Another very amazing moment of today was my friends' invitation to his kitchen through skype. Wish I could really try all his delicious dishes he carefully cooked!

I'm grateful for my eye that is feeling better today. I'm grateful for someone who makes me smile without even expecting it and I'm grateful to my friend who made my day very special by his cup of tea he kindly made for me (with a teaspoon and no sugar in it, just the way I like!)

                     You Are Waiting

It is great to feel that someone thought of you or waited for you. It is great to be cared for. It doesn't matter if it is just a minute-long care. It means a lot.
I'm grateful for a friend of mine who thought of me today. 
I'm grateful for  a glass of apple juice that brought me back to "life". ;)

I'm grateful for my eyesight. I feel especially grateful  for  it today since one of my eyes is aching a bit. It seems like I should let my eye enjoy some dark moments. ;) Maybe some romantic candle-lit evenings? ;)

Oh, what a silly dreamer I am...:-P

My Sunday

This Sunday was special. It was a real day of joy. Although the sky was covered with a long dark blanket, my heart was shining. I was happy to go to church, to speak with God. I was happy to get away from all my every day thoughts and endless worries I sometimes have. 

I am grateful for God's Gift of Life. For my dear friend who visited me this Sunday. For her happy eyes and warm hugs. It feels good to be hugged by someone who loves you. That is better than any heater, I tell you! 

I'm grateful for my day of the sun without the sun in the sky. 

                            Saturday Joy

I'm grateful for God's support I have felt that day. For giving me enough strength to wake up with the yawning of the sun. For His Love He Shows me every day, even when I miss to notice it.
I'm grateful for a wonderful trip around our garden and little park. I was searching for squirrels. No luck yet. But that's another reason for joy. It means my greatest joy is still ahead. ;) That fills me with real happiness. ;)

                                Friday Joy

I'm grateful to my student who suddenly cancelled our lesson. :P Well, I don't mean I am already fed up with my being a bright teacher but sometimes I do feel lazy or just tired. :) Especially when the weather is dull and sleepy. It was exciting to learn that there live some squirrels in our little forest nearby. I can't wait to see them and scream for joy!!!!!!!

                         Thursday Joy

I'm grateful for my windy day out. For my free hair in the wind. For my new friend who inspired me for some crazy ideas. I'm grateful for being alive and  still 26. :) 

Warm Evening, Peace in my Mind

Today I set myself free. In many senses. I have done what my soul told me to. I went against my brain ideas. :) Well, sometimes heart intetions win! ;)

I have enjoyed a wonderful warm evening outside, hanging around with my mom. 

I am grateful for this peace, for this calm evening, my busy day. Now off to my dream land. ;)

 Before you Are Born Joy Or I'm almost like a Cinderella! 

I bet the title of my new post makes your brains work hard. ;)
Well, I am not going to speak about anything like my night dream or any other day dreaming stuff. 

Today I saw something miraculous! ;) Today I saw my future friend. An ultrasound of a little human who'll arrive in July. ;) That was something unspokenly wonderful to see her face, tiny hand, sweet little nose...

I wish I had such an ultrasound of myself before I was born but I was born at the time of a stone age when my parents even had no idea of my gender! 

I'm grateful to this little shot of my future little friend. 

I'm grateful for the miracle of life I saw outside - the first green leaves...

I'm grateful for my peaceful day. 

And I am grateful for my new shoes my mom bought for me today! Due to my clubbed feet it is always a great adventure to get the right shoes that would perfectly fit me. And today - this miracle happened! For the first time ever I have a pair of spring\summer shoes I don't need to remake! They are just perfect! I feel like "Fish in a tree? How can that be?"?. :P And I can say I feel like a   Cinderella. ;) Just a prince on a white horse needed. ;)

I'm grateful for my selfish joy. I'm grateful for my new dream. And I'm grateful for my patient friend who always invites me for a cup of coffee...:)

                      Three Day-Old Joys

And again I missed posting for this weekend. I had a very busy time, and alas, no energy to describe my joys. :) This spring time change makes me feel like  a cat who's constantly stroked! But I'll survive this. ;) I just need time. And I need some new fresh portions of inspiration! ;)

Allright, let me report about some joys I've experienced \witnessed\smelt\tasted\touched\just felt:

On Saturday I had a never-ending circle of tasks that were somehow completed by the end of the day. That very day I received my conference diploma that surely made my day. ;) It's cool to receive something you never expect! :) In the evening time when I was ready to relax and speak with my soul, the door of my room opened and I saw my neighbour who needed my assistance. I had to do something I never did before! ;) I made  her an e-table for her courses task. Well, it's a complicated thing to talk about and I doubt you'd be interested in reading about it but the fact is I loved doing something that is really far from my every day activities! It's great to learn something you never knew! :) So, I'm grateful for a new piece of knowledge I've obtained thanks to my female friend.

On Sunday I started my day like a bird...but rather like a slightly confused bird due to the spring clock change! However, I loved praying with people who are like my family now. I don't mean that I know everyone who comes to church and that I'd just love everyone like my parents but I am delighted to see them every time. They all greet me and hug me as if I were someone really dear to them. I'm blessed to enjoy such a warm welcome! I'm grateful for my special Sunday, for people who pray for me and that's because I'm still here, typing to you and smiling. :)

Today I had another busy round of my life. My usual tasks. My usual routine. Two lessons, two different students who share the same name. Two different personalities. I'll miss them soon since they are graduating from school in May. 

This afternoon I somehow managed to make a break and move myself into freedom - outside. :) I was more than surprised to feel a warm summer-like wind and first flowers with bees flying around! The snow is away. And hopefully for many many months. It was really warm. I felt like throwing my warm jacket away and cuddling the sunrays! I really did! Well, my sunshower was somehow interrupted by job calls but I did not mind that so much. I was just happy to breathe in spring perfume! My nostrils were like hungry dogs! ;) I wish I had that spring moment forever - that's how I love spring. :)

And guess what? That's not the end of my Monday joys!

First - today I'm celebrating St. Daria's day! :) That's my angel's day. There is also another reason why this day is extra special. 29 years ago my parents first met. That was while they were taking the bus. And three  months later thet got married. ;) And two years later they had a strange creature they called soon Daria. ;)

By the way, they had NO idea of St. Daria's day. No idea how special First of April will be for them. For their daughter. :) Isn't that a miracle?

Today I have also met a new friend who is my real inspiration. She has so many limits (as it may seem!) but on the other hand she's more free than most of my "healthy" friends. :) I'm really blessed to know her. To see her great talent. I'm happy there are people who make my existence brighter and happier.

I hope I won't force you to wait for my posts for ages. I try to keep my joys on my memory list, so in case I miss a day or two, I'll be able to keep you all up-to-date. ;)

Life is great when some people around you make you smile and forget all your big and little sorrows. ;) Happiness exists. :)