To be Alive

Today I am grateful for being alive. For falling down and staying safe and sound. For my father who is more or less allright after damaging his hand. 


I'm grateful for my good friend who again found time for me to show me his motherland. That was a real moment of joy. :) I don't even know what I'd feel if I saw real mountains in front of me. No idea. I do not know if I am ever going to see real mountains. But at least online. :)

I'm grateful for speaking with some of my dear friends. They all have their stories of life. Their pain. Their joy. Their hope. And I hope to. I hope to see some of them for real one day. Here. In front of me. To hug them. To look into their eyes and tell them "Thank you for Being".

                     My Time of Darkness

When I was younger, I would go late out, walk around our garden. Nowadays I rarely do this. With my years I have somehow developed some strange fears and concerns...so I prefer to stay inside. Safe. With my books. My online world.

Today I decided to recollect my "sweet youth"...:D I went out when it was almost dark. And what's more...I even did bike a bit! :D Well, I almost ran over our sweet neighbour's kitty on my crazy way...BUT I am happy he did survive. :D

And today I again had another unforgetful time thanks to my good friend who shared some of his day with me. :)

I'm grateful for my silent dark biking. For my evening meeting. :) And I'm grateful for surving some strange insects in my room! :P

              A Running Squirrel Joy

Today I had a couple of reasons to smile about.

First: I woke up with a smile on my face. 

Second: My lovely student received the best mark ever! :) She passed her exams with flying colours! ;)

Third: I saw a real...living...sweet little squirrel running 1000 or so km away from me...:D How  could that be? :) My good friend who lives miles away made this miracle happen to me. Simply switched his camera on and showed me his green world and a squirrel who had no idea how much I was happy to see him/her! :P I felt like I really saw her / him close. Okay. I am truly silly. But this event filled me with so much excitement and joy! :)


I'm grateful to all my reasons of joy. My life is sunny today. There is almost always a moment when I can say "I'd like this or that"...Today is that very rare moment when I can assure you "I don't need anything else". I'm just happy. I am smiling. I'm living. And the world is happy. And the rest is not important. Happiness is running and jumping on the tree. This green tree of happiness. 

                                  Flying to You

My Tuesday was a great day. No lessons, my usual tasks. No pain. Lots of green colour, flowers around and the blue sky. And that's all was spiced by my true friends who made my being really meaningful. 
I'm grateful for my dear friend who helped me to believe in myself, who spends time with my poor writings and who never tells me "I'm busy". Who is always there whenever I need his wise eye. :)

I'm grateful to my good friend I also never met face to face yet. I'm grateful for his kind heart and great excursion around some places of his home town. I couldn't dream of that. Never. And God only knows if I am destined to travel much at all. However, now I have no right to say that I never saw anything. I did. Sad clouds, the dancing wind, a green kindgdom of trees, people passing by...And most important a pair of hands who make it possible for me to see it all. It certainly made my day an extra special. 

I'm grateful to my lovely female friend who borrowed me her lovely ears. :) Who had enough patience to listen to my crazy ideas. :D I'm grateful for having her in my life. For our funny moments. For our mutual joy and sorrows. For our hopes and dreams. :)

I'm grateful for this day of my existence. For my biking. For our neighbour's cat who purrs just for me. For my piano and flute that turn my busy reality into a lovely moment of pure happiness. ;)

Dreaming Away or Catching You, my Inspiration! ;)

Today I decided to do what I'm awfully afraid of...Guess what? ;) No, no parachute jumping. Not yet. Maybe one day. This day I'm grateful for overcoming my greatest enemy - fear and laziness. :) 

I have translated some things into German, the language I still struggle with every day. I am pleased to tell you that I'm slowly falling in sort of love in it. It's the language I now try to think in. Sometimes I even have some ideas in German in my head. And that's still being in my room. In Ukraine. I do not know if it's my destiny to travel to Germany. Probably it'll just stay one of my dreams.  One of those that may never come true. But someone wise said that we are those who make our own dreams come true...step by step. So, I am doing it. Now I have no real money to afford this travel. But I have my dream. And I can at least learn some German. 

And one day...one sunny day I'll probably hear "Herzlich willkommen"....;)

I'm grateful for catching my inspiration. And for a lively chat with someone on his way home. :) That was funny to imagine my friend typing and probably smiling.

I'm grateful for my little mp3 player too. Today it really made me feel relaxed while having my catnap. The sky was angry, thundering. But I was listening to the voices I love. :)

Now I'm listening to songs in 5 different languages I can understand. :) I'm grateful for this happiness. For this storm in my head. :)

                                 MySelf Joy

Due to my speciful body limits I cannot be always independent. I need some assistance here and there. I can't go out alone. There are many things that are in my 'can't do' list. But there are also a great number of things I still can handle alone. 

Today was this independent Sunday for me. It meant I was alone and had to do my simple breakfast alone. Well, it is not a big deal that it ended up with a cut finger. :P 

Despite my very late night serenade I opened my eyes relatively early. So, I enjoyed my day of freedom, watching a favourite movie, licking my ice-cream. Just feeling myself free and powerful. ;)Then I had again received some happy messages from my friend who's now travelling. That filled me with some more rays of happiness!

I'm grateful for my independent day. For being able for more than I can. For surving alone. For my silly hopes and dreams. :)

The Yummy Process of Burning the Midnight Oil...or My Butterfly Happiness

My Saturday was unusually complete. I can say I'm truly and sincerely grateful for this day. For these precious twenty four hours of joys. Sometimes a weird thought crosses my mind. I feel Saturday to be my special day. There's probably nothing wrong about it. I was even born on Saturday. That's maybe why some of my Saturdays are my red letter days. :)

First I am grateful for seeing my papa for the first time since the end of March. We see each other once in  a blue moon. We spent some time together. Had our lunch, visited our friends and in the evening time we enjoyed eating a huge plate of strawberries. My dad also bought lots of ice-cream. I sort of came back to my past, when I was a little girl waiting for my pa to be back from work. He would always bring something like sweets....Some things will never be the same. Some moments are over. However, I cherish it when we are together. Even let it be for some hours. Some hours are worth the whole life.

I'm grateful for visiting my friends today. A daughter and a  husband of my teacher who died last winter. It was the first time I came there, to their place since she's gone. That was different. Her smile did not welcome me this time. I did not hear her special lovely way of calling me "Dashunya"...That was still nice to be there. To talk to her daughter. To listen to her husband. To drink tea. To have some fun with their sweet doggy. 

I'm grateful for knowing my teacher. Now she's gone. But not from my heart that will bleed forever. There is nothing else left but to keep all our days, good and sad ones and to treasure everything she taught me. She taught me to go on, to smile, to love what I do. Now I look at her daughter's eyes, trying to catch her light. And I see some hope. I see we all must keep on breathing, smiling and following our dreams...even through tears. We just must do that.

And finally....last night my eyes and fingers were busy with the yummy process of the burning the midnight oil. :) I love such nights when I stay awake. And that was exactly this time. I did not sleep much. Surely, my mind and body were somehow sleeping, but my inner self was happily travelling to another part of the world where I wish I could be. I had a  virtual travel. I felt over the moon. Just on top of the world. Just happy. A bit sad too. I can't change some things. I can't always do what I wish I could. But last night I almost forgot about what I did not have. I was happy about what I did have. About my happy moment. I am grateful for hitting the sack with the morning birds. I felt like I came back from a very long trip. From somewhere I had the time of my life. I almost felt my dream in my palms. At least on my fingertips. :)

I'm grateful for my pieces of joys that like stars shine in my heart. That means now I'm not in the darkness. Now I know where I should go. It doesn't matter that my body wanted some rest. It doesn't matter at all. What really mattered was this miracle called "happiness" that visited me.  Even let it be my last joy.


I'm again terribly sorry for being so unclear. Probably one day I'll come out with what I have in my heart. Right now I'm happy and I want to enjoy it. My happiness is just a butterfly that may fly away any second. So, I'm standing still, admiring it in my heart.

Just like this song of Ruslana! ;) My mood theme! ;)

                                 Speak Up

It's great when we speak up our mind. It's awful we usually never do that. We usually feel afraid of it. We usually wear masks that are compfortable to look at. We don't always express what we really feel. We don't...so many  'don't. ;)

Today I had a long talk. I said what I felt. What I truly have on my heart. That's great. Especially when there's a careful listener. That's my great fortune to have such a fantastic pair of ears around. ;) 

I'm grateful for my Friday. For my tongue that can speak. I'm grateful for my strawberry season. I'm grateful for my bright little student who's now the best one in his class! :) The best English speaker. I'm happy to feel myself a little part of it. 

I'm grateful for my memories that won't be stolen. I'm grateful for my little progress with German. I can slowly speak it better and faster. Well, sure not so lightning fast like Ukrainian but...the time will come, I hope! ;) I hope the time will come when I won't be shy to tell someone what I really feel.

                              The Sign of the Light

I met someone. This person differs from everyone I know. We are two different worlds.  Totally. Absolutely. At first I did not really expect anything special about this person. Just one of many. 

But there was a word of him. One single word that was like a sunray in the darkness. I'm happy, truly happy to see or feel the light shining from some people. Even if it's just a moment. Another sign of the Light. Of God. 

I'm happy to see one of my friends who despite the fact of being super busy found some minutes of life for me. That's a great gift.

I'm grateful for my Thursday. For my unexpected lesson. For my tears of happiness. I don't usually cry for joy. But this day I did. I'm happy to realize how many kind people are there around. Even if they hide it well. :) It's uneasy to hide the light. 

                    Happy Spring St. Nickolas Day!

Today we celebrated the spring St. Nickolas Day. I started my day together with the first birds. The sun gently woke me up. I was sleepy but still felt happy. It is so lovely to start the day with the first sunrays. It's really beautiful. My mom's sleepy voice. My sleepy funny eyes. My plaits' making. 

The service was not attended by so many people. But our little crowd made me feel warmer. St. Nickolas shows his miracles even today. I don't know how but I managed to stay awake during the service despite my heavy eyes. When I came back home I did not feel so fresh at all. So, I just took my afternoon nap. ;)

Then I had a very special English lesson. I use this very adjective "special" because my student is one step away from saying good bye to me. And maybe forever. I mean as a student. She'll start a new page in her long and hopefully happy life. And I'll go on turning my own pages of life. No clear future. I'm a lazy page turner...sipping my black tea and enoying strawberries...

I'm sincerely grateful to one of my friends who assisted my lesson today! I'm afraid I did ruin his normal morning routine but at least he did not show that. He warmed me up with his smiles. :)

Then my day was almost over...but...another joy! A friend of mine invited me to visit his place, shared a piece of his life with me. That was awesome to visit him, even let it be just an virtual visit. I enjoyed feeling myself his guest, listening to his stories.

I'm grateful for every second of my life today. Now I feel a bit broken apart. I mean my body is protesting. I should really give it a rest. No other way out. ;) Just a new trip to my land of sweet dreams! See you, guys tomorrow! I hope so. 

P.S. Btw, no rains today!!!!!!

                             Click on Joy

Today I had climbed a real mountain of different tasks. I almost ran out of breath but managed to reach the top! ;) 

It was thundering but somehow the sky decided to let me finish my urgent matters. 

And, of course, I had my pause moments. And my great plan was set. I mean today I have arranged my lesson for tomorrow! I'm going to make it special because my lovely student will say good bye to me soon...:( Sad and delighted I feel about it. That's life. Someone comes into your life, someone leaves. That's how it is.  So, I'm excited about my bright idea of the lesson. Let's see if it works! 

I'm really grateful for my being able to click a lot during the day. It's a pity I can't 'click' with my legs, in that case they'd be so attractively slim and lively. :D

I'm grateful for my day. For having enough strength to smile even when the morning seemed dull. And I was lucky today. One person made me laugh my head off. Absolutely. Well, life is marvellous when there are people who can make you laugh.

Rain, Rain, Rain...

Rain...you don't always come when I need you. Today you really spoilt my happy time...But on the other hand, it was nice to see you, to feel your emotions of sadness. You have somehow washed some of my sad thoughts away. I still have my illusions. They somehow make me happier. Like the sunrays through your tears that are rolling down your cheeks...

This Monday I have lived another life. 24 hours of breathing, filled with laughter, eye and fingers' work, and memories. My memories are happy but they are also bitter in  a way.


This afternoon I received a letter. Well, an email that may mean a new page in my life...I don't know where it will lead me to. But I feel like it's another window I should open. It's tricky. It's somehow closed. But I will use all my strength to do so. ;)
I'm grateful for my waiting and for this spring thundertorm that was patient with me today. :)

                Expected / Unexpected Joys

It is really cool when your dream or any little wish comes true, falls straight into your palms. That doesn't happen that often. Or at least it usually takes some time and a huge bottle of patience before this magical moment actually comes true. 

Today some of my wishes did not come true. Or they did...but in an unexpected way. Well, that sounds confusing but not bad. ;) 

I'm grateful for having my joy the way it was - imperfect in some ways but perfect for me. ;)
Well, I know I speak like a spy. :D But some of my personal events I can't really describe yet. ;) Not yet!


Anyway - I'm grateful for some new friends I have made today and for my student who cleaned the dusty shelves of my brain. I'm grateful for my chocolate moment. For my peaceful day. For no worries. For my patient friend. For my dearest people who care of me no matter what kind of crazy mood I have. ;)

Happy Sleepless Support

I'm grateful for this excitement of support. I was spiritually travelling with my friends, then attending an online conference for teachers of English. I'm happy to have gathered some new ideas for my own classes.:)

I'm grateful for my sleepless night I spent for supporting a person I do not know personally but still feeling proud of her, because of the single reason - she comes from Ukraine. ;) I mean my eyes were glued to the TV screen and a great show called Eurovision. Well, it might not seem so exciting for most of you. It is not a big deal to spend some hours in front of a box. But sometimes it's the only option to reach a place I can't reach physically yet. Ukraine has not won. But it got the third place what is fantastic! ;) 

I can't share the feelings of sports fans, but I'm happy I have my little passion - music. I wish I could sing. But I am happy I can hear and "mmm" the music for myself...Music is everywhere!

I'm grateful for my sunny Saturday. For a happy chat with some people from different countries. For my moment of joy and hopes. My hopes might have no sense but maybe it is better than to give up? 

Another Conference and a Plate of Strawberries and....I can't Wait to See You! ;)

Today I am grateful for taking part in another webconference for teachers. Well, I'm not an active member there but at least it is very helpful for me, as a private tutor. ;)

I'm grateful for my mom's hands that have gathered a plate of red strawberries for me today. Mmm...very delicious!

I'm also grateful for some exciting news! One of my dreams is coming true...I count down the days to meet someone face to face!!!!!!!!!! ;)

No Connection...BUT...My Mind is ON!

Today I enjoyed my silent, off-line life....I had no Internet since yesterday night. :( That surely meant that I could not work. However, I had a wonderful opportunity to enjoy my life in  a real life, with a book on my sofa, chatting more with my mama, sitting outside with my mp3 player and digesting new vocabularies, then thinking of someone my heart cares about. ;) Then I was thinking of biking...but istead I enjoyed some raindrops...that was still amazing. That feels funny to feel some cold raindrops on my hair. Like a hello from the sky. Maybe a nice reminder. Maybe.

This evening I also had an ice-cream party with my mom. :) Mmm...so delicious!

The final point was a wonderful discussion with someone who could certainly talk under water...that's what makes me wonder about. 

I'm grateful for my off-line part of the day. And...I'm grateful for my Internet that's back. :) 
I now see that the Internet is like my feet at times. I go out online...well, that's probably not as attractive as a real one...but I enjoy what I have now. ;)

I loved my day. Sure, I wish I could complete more things. But I hope for tomorrow. I hope for more joys. And...what I really hope for is that I will manage to bring some joy to someone one day. Would be perfect. Would be like a happy end...or a happy start of a new life...;) Let's see. 

Sunbathing on a Copacabana beach or Thinking With a Thunderstorm

This day was in some ways rather hectic. Too many tasks around and even more dreams…

I sometimes wonder if my life is going to last enough to fulfill some of my projects and brave dreams. Who knows? But I am happy to have my today. It is almost gone.

Today my heart was filled with some new joys. First: I managed to wake up after my Eurovision support last night! I mean last night I bumped my head into my sweet bed very late or maybe it’s better to say too early;)

I was really screaming with happiness to see a plate of big red strawberries! Mmm…sure they soon found a comfortable place in my stomach.;)

Some new bright teaching ideas have finally visited my head! So, my today’s lesson had a new breeze! ;)

After my lesson I happily discovered a package from my dear friend from a far away Brazil. He sent me some really nice souvenirs from his recent trip. I can’t help smiling looking at his carefully packed items and imagining how he arranged everything. I’m grateful for receiving this lovely sign of someone’s love and care.

Later a real scary thunderstorm just made me jump into my bed and shiver like a leaf! ;P Allright, I was not so terribly shivering but surely I did not feel like singing. ;)

I’m grateful for my day. For my moment of thoughts. For my true friend. For my sweet strawberry happiness. For my doubts. Yes, yes! Doubts. They help me want to prove them! ;)

The First Shower for Two Months or How it Feels like to Listen to the Melody of the Sky

Today I finally enjoyed the first rainshower for almost two months. Yeah!!!!! It was so unexpected. I was silently sitting on our green porch, reading a book then my mama called me for lunch....and as soon as I entered the house, the sky started to cry for me...Haha...Okay, probably I am not the girlfriend of the rain but surely it felt wonderful to sit in our dry kitchen, sipping soup and admiring the dance of raindrops...

I also enjoyed the thunderstorm. It was like a real music of the sky...Maybe a hello...I am sometimes afraid of such thunderstorms but today it was really amazing. I felt safe, even cosy. Like a bird in a nest. 
I'm grateful for this rain. Now we have some hope for the harvest. I can't wait for apricots and cherries!

I am also grateful for  a nice talk I had. For this moment of sharing thoughts and ideas. For even silly things. Just for this moment alone. :)
I'm also grateful for my student who kindly contributed to my regular bacon bringing activity. ;) I'm grateful for a warm conversation with her. It seems like we were on one wave...

I'm grateful for my silly dreams. Well, maybe just illussions. But reality in itself is the greatest illusion we can make wonderful. ;) Can't we make that? ;)

    First Strawberry and Being Happily Embraced by Liliac...

Today I spent most of my life in my room. My working week is my reality again. :) My day flew fast.  

Today I am grateful for a little green-red miracle - the first strawberry! I dreamt of this moment since cold winter...and today finally it has come true...I don't understand how this beauty can come out from a black soil...do you have an idea? I am happy to have felt its sweet-sour taste in my mouth. My eyes closed. A moment of happiness. :)

I'm also grateful for feeling the joy of one of my friends. :) It's wonderful to see happy eyes in front of you. A smile that does not need any dictionaries. :)



I'm grateful for my life today. For my silent evening I spent outside. For the best perfume of blooming liliac in my plaits. I will never forget this day. 

            My Two weeks of Sorrows and Joys....

Joy and Sorrow go hand in hand...like sun and rain...Smile and tear. Time for laughter and time for a lonely cry....These two weeks I had different days. Good and not so good. I did not post here...I am really sorry for that. My goal was actually to keep you posted every day...not just once in a blue moon...But on the other hand my blog is like myself...I can't be a robot. I can't be mechanical. I can't pretend that I am happy when I am just "glad". ;) Well, I can't say I had no happiness. I did have the time of my life. My happiness. Let me briefly report my reasons of joys:

I'm grateful for my "silent" week. I was most of the time offline. Alone. With myself. Thinking of myself. What I want to change. What I want to live with. What to do. 

I'm grateful for my dear friend from a far away place on this planet who made my day sunny by his lovely postcard. I have never met him face to face. But he has already filled my postcards collection with some very unique cards from different breathtaking places of our planet. I hope one day I will look into his eyes and tell him how thankful to him I am. How often his 'written' hellos made me smile and travel in my spirit. I'm grateful for having such a far away friend who cares of me. 

I'm grateful for this magical moment of decorating Paska bread (Paska bread is a traditional sweet Easter bread in Ukraine). I love this fairy-tale moment when I decorate paskas with some colourful icing. I feel like a five-year-old kid. Nothing else exists. Just me. And Paska. Happy Easter expectations. It's happiness. To wait for freedom. For your dream. Sometimes waiting itself makes happy. 

I'm grateful for my first Easter night service at our little local church. It was something I can never explain by words. Starry warm night. Hope in the air. Happy faces of people around. Candles burning...Then people go outside. I stay alone in the church. Then people and our priest come back...Christ is Risen! He is alive. He has won. And He has given us the greatest gift - Love and Hope. I am happy. My fears are away. At least that night. I pray for people I love. For someone who might not even care of me. It doesn't matter. I'm grateful for this wonderful night. For the candle I managed to bring home all way long...in the darkness. But...I did not see anything. Just the Light. As long as the Light is with me I am not scared.
I'm grateful for my Easter day. People I talked to. Delicious food cooked by my dearest cook. My friend who came to spend the whole day of her life with me. 

I'm grateful for my online circle of friends who made my long weekend really meaningful. Oh yes! I am also grateful for my looong weekend! ;)

I'm grateful for my biking. Well, I still haven't managed to buy a new one but even with my old one I can still stretch my legs a bit and feel some more freedom. 
I'm grateful for some sad moments I happened to have this happy week. They made me cherish my happy moments and find new hope. :)

I'm grateful for hearing my story I told Alan Dean on BBC4. It was recorded last December when I was awfully ill and then again in March when I lost my dear teacher...My story turned out to be more dramatic than I wanted it to be. I actually told Alan some happy things too but he chose some sad moments what is not so bad. I mean it's life. Tears and laughter. Always together. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/dlo
(Here you can hear my story during the programme "DLO 08 May 13: Connection & Separation)

I'm grateful for everything I had these two weeks. I am so happy to look forward to seeing my friends' baby in a couple of months!!!!! I hope for more joys. For more reasons of my happiness. I hope to win myself. ;)