Big Sister Joy

Today is 19 years since I last saw you. The last moment when I touched your eyelashes. When I last kissed you goodbye. That was a grey morning. I don't clearly remember everything. Everything was too tearful. I felt lonely and abandoned by you. You didn't say anything. Simply left me. Alone.



I am still missing you. Years haven't changed my loving you. My needing you. Now I look at the only picture of you left. You were smiling there. We're apart now. Just memories left. No one will take them away from me. No matter how many more years I'll have to live without you. I believe one day I may meet you.


I'm grateful for having my little sister. She's not with me anymore. She passed away in 1994. People say time heals. Maybe. It is easier now. But I still wish she were here, by my side. It was worth having  a sister. Even though we were destined to say goodbye. I'm grateful for all the good days I had with my little sister.

                             Left: Me with a doll.  Right:  my little sister Katia with a teddy bear

                                                   Me and my sister

                                            I was seven and my sister was five there

 Death doesn't change a lot. There's something stronger than that. This connection. It is invisible. But it is forever with me. It is what makes me wake up and smile. It is what makes me feel warmer when it's dull and frosty outside. I'm grateful for being forever a big sister.