The Hardest Thing I Ever Had to Do...
My dream came true! I can hardly believe my eyes and my ears. My heart is smiling like it never did. I'm the happiest in the world. The happiest Daria, at least. I want to share my news with my mama and papa and all of my true friends. The fuel of happiness makes me fly!
And...I wake up...and see my blue walls, the cloudy day outside my window...My tiny candle of hope is still burning...maybe this 'night' dream is going to come true today? Who knows?
Last summer I eagerly joined a project. This inspired me for something I never did before. I did my very best. I sent my application. My work. And today...I received the results. I failed. Yes, I did.
Well, the truth to be told, I felt rain in my eyes. I didn't really hope to be selected. I didn't really believe I'd win. I know my weaknesses. But I hoped. And today my hope broke like a crystal vase - into awfully micro-pieces. Almost all day long I tried to forget about my failure. I tried to fight my sad thoughts away like annoying flies.
I was dangerously close to close my blog. I could not find any good reason of being grateful today. Well, I can be grateful for my loving parents, my true friends, my warm room, my cup of hot chocolate...But my failure really made all these "treasury" of life just empty words. Formal cold words. I don't mean I do not cherish what I have. I do. I thousands times try to thank God for everything I have. Just today...today I felt myself a loser. I reread the list of selected names three times, still hoping to "catch" D....but...
All of a sudden I was lightened by a great idea that comforted me right away. My dream that kept me moving did not come true today. Not today. But should I really regret it? Should I really make this failure my tragedy? Isn't that a sign I must go on and do it better? My dream is alive. It is not dead. It's alive. It's vigorously kicking. And now even screaming. And if it comes true, one day, one sunny day - I will be even happier than I'd be today. I'll be the happiest of the happiest! Isn't it an awesome reason to clear my cloudy sky and smile? :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
It's the hardest thing I ever had to do - to find that an unfulfilled dream may be a great source of happiness!
It's the hardest thing I ever had to do - to find that an unfulfilled dream may be a great source of happiness!
Dasha, your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt, you are a ray of sunshine, a blessing to your family and parents, and still very young. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
ReplyDeleteDear Vail, thank you very much! :) You're right, it's better to try and fail than to fail to try. :)
ReplyDeleteHello there
ReplyDeleteYou keep on surprising me with that fantastic way of saying your feelings.
Watching your failure from a different point of view to make it a good thing, is simply great. That is the best way in which problems have to be faced up to, in a positive way. You’ll have another opportunity and then you’ll get it. In Spain we usually say something like this “It wasn’t made for you" you’ll get it some other time.
Good luck
Sergio
Dear Sergio,
DeleteWhenever I talk to you or read your thoughts I am on cloud nine. You have a great talent you might not even realise - you bring smiles onto my face no matter how I feel. :)
I like your Spanish saying. That's exactly what I think now. :) It was not my time yet. But I hope one day I'll have my big day. :)
Be well,
Daria
Hello Daria! After I read this post, I could imagine how hard you kept working to make your dream come true, and I also could feel your sadness and disappointing. On the other hand, I know you are strong enough to keep going. It is a different situation, but I also had a hard time last year and it was like a dark long tunnel for me. I could not find any hope and it was vanity...I cried at least three times(third was happy crying). I believe that challenging is the first step to the winner.
ReplyDeleteHello Asako.
DeleteAfter a long time without hearing anything about you, I am glad to know something about you again. I hope everything is OK with you.
Being a young mother is not an easy task. What’s more, unlike a washing machine or a tv, babies unfortunately don’t come with an instruction book with them. Thus, everything in connection with growing a baby up has to be learnt as one go. It is said that when someone has a baby usually goes through a hard situation that has to be faced up with the help and support of the partner.
I don’t mean that this was the hard time you passed last year, but it is not a piece of cake either. ;)
All the best
Sergio
My lovely Asako,
DeleteThank you for your great supporting words! I appreciate your care and personal story. I am sure that my failure was also important. I come to realise that even when we lose, we get something else instead. Every failure should lead us to another achievement. Everything happens for a reason. And I am not sad now. :) I am full of hope. :) And your words make me really happy!!! I hope now you have only tears of happiness....;) Xxxx (kisses!)
Hello Sergio!(I am shy to call in this way but I want to call you as Daria do)
DeleteThank you for a warm message, I totally agree with your comment "babies unfortunately don’t come with an instruction book with them." Instruction book is nothing any more now. Because I always compared the baby in the book and my boy, and it is so stressful, I was tired... And one day, I gave up reading an instruction, and comparing to the other people's baby. My boy is special and now I only listen to his heart.